I keep Byssus off the grid. Don’t go out of my way to be read or make it particularly easy to read. Not sure if anyone actually reads anything, its not the main intent. But just in case you may find this useful.
I read my first account written by Labin.
I sort of cringed at first as I have gone with a free flow naive account. I would prefer to stay ignorant for the moment. I seem to know something about this already. Just not in words. interested in what I can put into words however crude and what comparison they may yeild.
I am going to stick with it for a while longer. I suspect I may then do something truly shocking and actually write a full, sourced, proofed and fully researched account in stages. it’s an unusual topic as it is a part of myself and a part of myself and a part of my past that I am not particularly conscious or aware of.
Was a very odd read as I could ‘sense’ parts of what he was saying as I have experienced them. Was wider social agenda that did not surprise me, what did surprise me was how the physical experience and sense of knowing effected my sense of his words.
I can understand why he saw it in a wider social sense, part of his language also made me rather uncomfortable, it has an early 20th century taste for grading the forms of man, on first read its difficult to grasp the extent of that aspect, it may just be an older form of expression. Not familiar with wider social history here but I would expect that forms of this kind of thought would have been attractive to early nationalist movements.
With this form of movement activity it can result in a form of altered state, trance like or ecstatic is too strong but an element is present. As a read his words I could feel in his words the sense you get when taking part in these activities.
It would also seem to be an effect that can be triggered by memory in relation to reading.
Whatever they may be, they have a powerful emotional presence and pull. That was very clear from reading his words. It is easy to get lost in such things they are somewhat ensnaring.
What shocked me the most was I felt I already knew much of what had been said. I can match things in two subjects that have little in common with no effort. I often use it as a way to relax when I am thinking about something else. Its just a form of play to provoke thought.
So when I start to read pattern matching is a standard feeling, I see relationships between things all the time, it does not mean I think a relationship exists.
Here any pattern match I found seemed disturbing.
Got the sense I was reading something about the way I feel, experiances I have had that do not belong in words and I have never thought about them in that way.
Certain sections of the text were very direct and I did not have to think about what they meant. Others I could not be certian how direct but far from the usual sense i get with such things.
I don’t know why but a pleasing and deeply uncomfortable read at the same time. Like discovering a very close relative has been kept locked in the attic for all of youre life and you are meeting them for the first time noting and trying to detrmine how deep the ressemblance goes.