Two Geese

The main superduper , comes over, er, when they’ve actually surrounded us eh, an he’s asking for Boris and Doris. Who were the ringleaders, as far as he is concerned, we’d build ourselves as, eh…. eh, what was it, they eh, peace convoy. It was… and it was headed by Boris and Doris, who were two geese that we had on site. So on all the fly posters, it was, you know, Boris and Doris proudly present. You know, sort of thing.

So they wanted to arrested Boris and Doris and eh, and of course, you’re arse is tweeting like nobodies business, cause there is all this thing going on and you know and youre Gaffes are being wrecked right before you and you are surrounded by all these police and then the chief superduper marches up and he says, “Right, I want Boris and Doris to step out here now!”  As all two hundred of us just fell about guffawing. I mean you couldn’t do anything else. Honestly, you’re arse is tweeting away one moment and then there is this loony tune asking for two geese to step forward (laughs). It was extremely funny that was. That was  the funny moment of it all.

Descriptions of event at Operation Solstice, see link below

The Funny Moment of it All 

Heroic Verse

The Cursing and Prophecy of Billy Graham


Well its going to be a treat.  A trick or a treat.  Or a treatment, and you know what a treatment is? Massage. I am going to massage the man with these hands. Know what these hands can do? These hands can crush coconuts! These hands can straighten out a horseshoe!

Know what this arm can do? Huh?…..  Longest arm in the world and that arm is going to come out, come down on Ivan Putski’s so hard its going to pop his head like a pebble or break every bone in his body. You know what violence is?  Violence is American Professional Wrestling. And I am going to introduce this man to wrestling .

I am going to introduce this man to American style wrestling. He’s from Poland right?… He doesn’t know what real violence is, he does not know what real broken bones are and pulled ligaments and ripped tendons and popped cartilages. I am going to introduce the man to violence. To pain. I am going to teach the man how to say uncle. Understand what I am talking about?……… I am going to bury my fist; do you know what a fist sandwich is? … Salt and pepper, tomatoes, lettuce, ketchup. This sandwich, I am going to bust his teeth out and bloody his nose. It’s going to be violence. I am coming.

American Wrestler, Billy Graham

Moving Observations from the Azure Main

“The face of the country in England affords all that beautiful variety which can be found in the moft extenfive tracts of the globe. In fome parts, verdant plains extend far as the eye can reach, watered by copious ftreams, and covered with innumerable cattle. In others, the pleafing viciffitudes of gently-rifing hills and bending vales, fertile in corn, waving with wood, and interfperfed with meadows, offer the moft delightful landfcapes of rural opulance and beauty. Some tracts abound with profpects of the more romanitic kind; lofty mountians, craggy rocks, deep narrow dells, and tumbling torrents: nor are there wainting, as a contraft to fo many agreeable fcenes, the gloomy features of black barren moors and wide uncultivated heaths. On the whole, however, few countries have a fmaller proportion of land abfolutely fteril and incapable of culture.”

John Aikin,  England Delineated; or, a Geographical Description of Every County in England and Wales: with a concise account of It’s Most Important Products, Natural and Artifical. For the Use Of Young Persons, London, 1790

Sayings of the Just

Cradle to Grave: The Repetitions of Mrs Nussbaum in a Clinic of Thought

I walked out of the corner shop today. Passed a group of about five kids 12 or 13 , one was very overweight with a fresh bloody mark below his lip. As I passed them he said

“aye so that’s whit yea dea, rub a stinging nettle in ma face.”

One of the other kids responded “no when a said ye should buy a prostitute, I wiz only joking”

I think he may have been trying to diffuse the situation with thoughts of potential parent involvement looming and whizzing through his mind, knowing he was in a bit of a no win situation on the excuse front. Anyway they were nearing home territory.

Was a somewhat memorable response whatever the motive.

Reminded me of a conversation in Scot mid, a supermarket at the meat counter some years ago. Same sense of surprise, same underlying emotions bubbling away with a twist.

Two old ladies looking at  an ox tongue. The only time I have every come across ox tongue in the flesh is at funerals, as a child. It was highly prized by the most elderly members of my family. A food of the dead and the dying.

Old woman A. Thats a nice piece of tongue!

Old Women B. Aye

Old Woman A. Gives seriously disproving look and states. “I dinea (don’t) like tongue!

The only English and formal term the child in the first argument used was prostitute, sounds like he may just learnt a new word and was deploying it in part for effect. His method of attempting to diffuse the situation ” A wiz only jokin,” (I gave English spelling first time round for comprehension) is of course commonly deployed in these situations. One other magical word formula used in Scotland on these occasions, which people put a great deal of faith in, is the old well worn classic ‘I wiz just saying’. Inferring that you are either unable to read a social situation correctly, that the speaker is stating an opinion or that the speaker is simply flapping it’s piece of meat, making meaningless meat sounds. Precise meaning is determined by inflection, body movement and facial expression.

When my children use this one I sometimes respond by saying “Ah, so you are simply engaged in a philosophical thought experiment. I would take some time out to reflect on that one, but you can always of course, continue, and we will see where it will lead.” (they are familiar with my sense of humour)

I think it is important that children are given a degree of space and room to reflect on thoughts and action and to reach decisions for themselves with some guidance, but as little as is possible. It is important that they are able to evaluate situations and reach a conclusion on their own, without having it imposed from the heavens. If My children ask me as they often do for an answer I will at first, give them an opinion that is not my own, or one I do not agree with, but present it as a matter of fact. They, question evaluate and will reach a conclusion and understand that it may be possible for them to evaluate information for themselves . That is a good thing.

But I am of course just saying

Revival and Assembly; Meet me at the Water

I was reading on the lobo girl of Devils river and as usual my mind began to wander impelling me to put Judy Henske’s High flying bird album on the c.d. player before getting back to reading.  Ballad of Little Romy.

Song and the power of the vocals contrasts somewhat with the image’s in the movie of wholesome smiling and slightly uncomfortable and stiff looking American kids doing wholesome hearty outdoor type things; or giving the impression of for a movie. What on earth is going on with that guitar in the far left?

Azure: Skys, Waves, Flags, Jacks and Pendants

And reciting that his late majesty King George the Third, by his royal proclamation bearing the I st day of January 1801, ordered and appointed what ensign or colors should be borne at sea by merchant ships or vessels belonging to any of his majesty’s subjects of the united kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, and of the dominions thereunto belonging, thereby charging and commanding all his majesty’s subjects whatsoever that they should not presume to wear in any of their ships or vessels of his majesty’s jack, commonly called the Union Jack, nor any pendants nor any such colours as are usually worn by his majesty’s ships, without particular warrant for their so doing from his majesty, or his high admiral of Great Britain or the commissioners for executing the office of lord high admiral for the time being; and also commanding his majesty’s subjects that without such a warrant as aforesaid they should not presume to wear on board their ships of vessels any flags, jacks, pendants, or colours made in imitation of or resembling those of his majesty or any kind of pendant whatsoever, or any other ensign than the ensign described in the margin of the said proclamation: AND that by an act of the last session of parliament (3 & 4 W. c.53) “An act for the prevention of smuggling,” a penalty of fifty pound is imposed on every person who shall wear, carry or hoist in or on board any vessel or boat whatever belonging to any of his majesty’s subjects without particular warrant for that purpose………..


Abstracts of Recent Statutes, Prevention of Smuggling Amendment Act.  W.4, c. 13., in, The Legal Observer, Vol. 9, 1835


Skull and crossbones by Ocatecir

Anarchy symbol, Mohamed Ibrahim

Latitude, Longitude and Relative Location

Here we find every fort of rural variety

‘ in fome parts are feen verdant plains water-

‘ ed by copious ftreams, and covered with

‘ innumerable cattle. In others, the plea-

‘ fing viciffitudes of gently rifing hills and

‘ bending vales, fertile in corn, waving

‘ with wood, and interfperfed with mea-

‘ dows, offer the moft delightful land-

‘ fcapes of rural opulence and beauty.

‘ Some tracts abound with profpects of

‘ the more romantic kind,- lofty moun-

‘ tians, craggy rocks, deep narrow dells

‘ and tumbling torrents; nor are there

‘ wanting, as a contraft to fo many agree-

‘ able fcenes, the gloomy features of black

‘ barren moors, and wide unciltivated

‘ Heaths*

* England Delineated, p. 12, 13

Scotland Delineated or a Geographical Description of Every Shire in Scotland including the Northern and Western Isles. With Some Account of the Curiosities, Antiquities and Present State of the Country. For the Use of Young Persons. Edinburgh, 1791

When Artefacts Collide

Margaret Thatcher looks stunning, yes! But why no nipples in the Daily Express?

Things are Going to Get Worse

What me worry? I should care

shit for brains and wire for hair

I seen the future and I ain’t their

Things are going to get worse

velcro slippers and a spandex waist band

washed up on planet wasteland

zips up like a nylon spaceman

things are going to get worse

things are going to get worse nurse

things are going to get rotten

make that hearse reverse nurse

I am trying to remember everything forgotten….


John Cooper Clarke


More Than Darkness Lies Between Us

Eugene Reynolds (approx. 5. 8 inches of throbbing sexual energy), pouting sex pot Fay Fife and some other blokes perform a song in 1978


Antient Voices. The Daily Mail asking the question no other newspapers dare’s to ask; does history suggest that things may change ? 

                                                                                                                       Indecent exposure: The unsettling juxtaposition of swastikas, a pair of breasts and Mrs Thatcher

                                                                                                                       Fresh Fruit from Rotting Vegetables: A vicar writes of all sorts of ugliness in hideous excesses.

Sylvia: Of Maps, Charts, Calculation, Things and Thought

Timber, or Discoveries Made Upon Men and Matter as They Have Flowed out of his Daily Readings or had Their Reflux to His Peculiar Notion of the Times

The vicious language is vast and gaping, swelling and irregular; when it contends to be high, full of rock, mountain, and pointedness; as it affects to be low, it is abject, and creeps, full of bogs and holes. And according to their subject these styles vary, and lose their names; for that which is high and lofty, declaring excellent matter, becomes vast and tumorous, speaking of petty and inferior things; so that which was even and apt in a mean and plain subject, will appear most poor and humble in a high argument. Would you not laugh to meet a great councillor of State in a flat cap, with his trunk hose, and a hobbyhorse cloak, his  gloves under his girdle, and yond haberdasher in a velvet gown, furred with sables? There is a certain latitude in these things, by which we find the degree.

Ben Johnstone


Ben Johnstone, artist, unknown